Children with autism often have developmental delays—meaning they do not to reach all of their developmental milestones at the appropriate times. But that statement is a huge oversimplification of the reality because:
Many autistic children reach early developmental milestones on time or early, but then lose ground. Most autistic children reach some of their developmental milestones on time or early, but reach others late or not at all. Some autistic children reach some of their developmental milestones extraordinarily early but reach others extraordinarily late. Children with autism can appear to gain important skills—but in fact, be unable to use those skills in real-world situations. Many children with autism have so-called “splinter” skills, which can be very advanced but which are not useful in daily life. Autistic children, particularly girls who are high-functioning, are sometimes able to hide or overcome some developmental delays.
With so few absolutes, it’s no wonder both parents and practitioners can find it hard to spot autism, especially in very young or very high functioning children. This article discusses a few developmental markers that are most likely and most obvious when a child is autistic.
What Are the Developmental Milestones?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) divides developmental milestones into groups: movement/physical, cognitive, language/communication, social/emotional. They list specific levels of achievement for each age, starting with 1 month and moving through adolescence. While they make it clear that children may not reach any given milestone at the precise age described, they also suggest that parents keep an eye out to be sure their child is at or close to normal.
Most children with autism are diagnosed at a relatively young age—often by the age of 3. Here is a simplified list of milestones for 3-year-olds from the CDC:
Social and Emotional
Copies adults and friends Shows affection for friends without promptingTakes turns in gamesShows concern for crying friendUnderstands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”Shows a wide range of emotionsSeparates easily from mom and dadMay get upset with major changes in routineDresses and undresses self
Language/Communication
Follows instructions with 2 or 3 stepsCan name most familiar thingsUnderstands words like “in,” “on,” and “under”Says first name, age, and sexNames a friendSays words like “I,” “me,” “we,” and “you” and some plurals (cars, dogs, cats)Talks well enough for strangers to understand most of the timeCarries on a conversation using 2 to 3 sentences
Cognitive (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving partsPlays make-believe with dolls, animals, and peopleCompletes puzzles with 3 or 4 piecesUnderstands what “two” meansCopies a circle with pencil or crayonTurns book pages one at a timeBuilds towers of more than 6 blocksScrews and unscrews jar lids or turns door handles
Movement/Physical Development
Climbs wellRuns easilyPedals a tricycle (3-wheel bike)Walks up and down stairs, one foot on each step
When Missing Developmental Milestones May Suggest Autism
There are many reasons why children miss developmental milestones. In most cases, there’s no particular cause for concern. That’s because:
Children are different from one another and, naturally, develop at different rates. Children who are born prematurely may miss milestones but usually catch up. Boys are often slower to develop than girls, but almost always catch up. Many children are so focused on certain milestones that they may miss others. For example, a very physically adept child may reach advanced physical milestones and then later catch up on social milestones. Early medical challenges may slow development—but most children are able to catch up to their same-age peers. Certain correctable challenges, such as difficulty with hearing, can slow early development but have little impact on long-term development.
So when should parents be concerned about autism? The CDC provides a list of issues that should raise red flags, which includes:
Can’t work simple toys (such as pegboards, simple puzzles, turning handles) Doesn’t respond to name by 9 months of age Doesn’t show facial expression (like being sad, angry, or happy) by 9 months of age Doesn’t speak in sentences Uses few or no gestures (such as waving goodbye) by 12 months of age Doesn’t understand simple instructions Doesn’t play pretend or make-believe Doesn’t want to play with other children or with toys Doesn’t make eye contact Doesn’t notice when others are upset or hurt by 24 months of age Loses skills he once had Shows restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests
While these issues can be signs of autism, however, they may not be. Autism is more likely when children have more than one of these issues or have other related issues in the social/emotional or communication realms.
Why Monitoring Developmental Milestones for Autism Can Be Misleading
Sometimes, children with autism miss multiple milestones and have clear and obvious developmental delays. Often, however, missed milestones can be masked or even invisible. This is because children with autism aren’t simply delayed; they learn and behave differently from their typical peers.
In addition, autism is rarely obvious from birth. Many children with autism develop normally for a period of time and then either slow down, develop idiosyncratically, or actually regress. Because of these issues, it can be tough to spot autism just by watching for missed developmental milestones.
How Autistic Delays Can Be Masked or Hidden
Some children with autism have severe cognitive delays, behavioral challenges, or physical “stims” (rocking or flapping) that make it obvious that something is wrong. But many autistic children have few or mild delays, challenges, or stims. When that’s the case, developmental delays may be hard to spot.
Here are a few groups of children whose developmental delays may not be obvious until social, emotional, or communication demands increase (usually after grades 1 or 2):
Girls: Autism generally causes children to be quiet, socially withdrawn, and less likely to raise their hands or speak out. They may appear “dreamy” or inattentive. These behaviors are culturally appropriate for girls in most parts of the world. Thus, young autistic girls who are not meeting developmental milestones may slide under the radar. They are often labeled as “shy and quiet,” and, perhaps, not terribly bright. It may take quite a while for parents and teachers to notice other symptoms. Children with impressive intelligence or splinter skills: Quite a few children with autism are very bright or have surprising skills that are far beyond their years. For example, some children with autism can solve complex puzzles, read at a very young age, or show impressive math, music, or computer skills. They may also have advanced vocabularies in their areas of special interest. When this is the case, parents and teachers may not notice that the same child who can solve complex math equations is unable to play imaginatively or catch a ball. Children with empathetic siblings or peers: In some families and classrooms, empathetic siblings or peers can actually mask another child’s autism. These wonderful children take it upon themselves to learn to understand their autistic peer and to speak for them. While this is undoubtedly kind and caring, it’s also a form of enabling that can make it hard to know what the autistic child really can do for him or herself. Children of parents with autistic traits: It’s not unusual for children with autism to have parents who are either diagnosable with high functioning autism or who have so-called “shadow” traits of autism. When this is the case, parents may see their children as developing typically—or as being “chips off the old block. " It can be especially hard for these parents to see their child labeled autistic, as the label could easily apply to them as well.
What Parents Should Do
If you think your child has developmental delays and may be autistic, take action. Ask your pediatrician to screen your child for delays, with a special emphasis on social, communication, and emotional skills.
If your intuition was incorrect, you’ve lost nothing but an hour of time and a load of anxiety. If your child does, indeed, have developmental delays you’ve taken action promptly and can expect to quickly access resources and programs that can help him or her to overcome any challenges.
Bottom line, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by taking prompt action.
